Managing Many Passions Without Losing Myself
A reflection on doubt, pressure, clarity, and holding space for your journey
Maybe the oil of ranting has been poured out again... and someone forgot to close the jar.
Sometimes, I wonder if anyone truly understands how difficult it is to manage multiple interests. Really, have you met me? I’m often caught between things I love, trying to give them space to breathe, grow, and somehow align. Right now, I wear many hats and while each of them pulls on me in different ways, they all mean something. Not one of them is random as they’ve become part of the fabric of who I’m becoming.
Even with all these moving parts, I still have to live. I still have personal goals, friendships, and the ever-interesting phase of single life (which I won’t go into. Who knows who might read this?).
There’s a unique chaos that comes with having a heart pulled in many directions. Maybe chaos isn’t even the word. It’s more like a kind of constant shifting—a sacred tug-of-war between passion and clarity, between calling and limitation, between desire and surrender.
What’s been hardest for me is not the involvement itself, it’s finding where it all connects. It is trying to see how these different parts of me fit into a central theme, a single thread I can confidently hold onto and say: yes, this is it. This is my path.
That’s been one of the most difficult parts of my journey.
Every day, I commit it all to God; I pray, I process, I trust. I believe that somehow, in the weaving of the seemingly scattered threads, the picture will start to make sense but life doesn’t always come with neatly folded answers. Life has questions that echo for months and challenges that hit back-to-back.
There are days I question my choices. Days I sit with doubt longer than I should, and then, as I always do, I walk through the process again—finding myself, re-centering, returning to my why.
For the record, I don’t think I’m an overthinker. I sincerely hope I’m not. However, I do reflect deeply.
I often revisit my vision statement to drop what no longer aligns. I trim what feels like noise, wrestle with clarity and try to bring my focus back to purpose. The lines used to be very blurry. Now, they’re not as unclear anymore. (Drum rolls for progress, please!)
There’s this part of me—maybe it exists in all of us—that wants certainty. That part wants to coast through life, knowing exactly how it all fits together. To be honest, there’s a version of me that just wants to be “balling,” free from the pressure of constantly discerning the next right step.
Still, I’ve come to realize: the life God has called me to is a life of faith.
It’s not about having all the answers. It’s about trusting even when I don’t— living each day surrendered, letting go of the illusion of control and holding tight to His promises. Maybe that’s the part I’ve been struggling with the most—trusting in uncertainty.
Nonetheless, through reflection and a lot of heartfelt prayer, I’m learning to simplify. My interests, though many, are beginning to consolidate into five core areas. It still feels like a full plate sometimes, but I’m learning to make peace with it. Above all, I’m learning to honour the space each one holds in the story I’m writing with my life.
Family is right there at the top. That’s not changing!
Another major hurdle I’ve had to confront is comparison. That sneaky voice that shows up when I’m scrolling, observing, or even casually conversing. I used to think I was weird—different in a not-so-good way. Like something about me was scattered, unfocused, out of sync.
Nevertheless, over time, I’ve started to appreciate my uniqueness. Even though some sadness still lingers, I’m healing— slowly, gently and quietly.
Here’s something you might not know: I wasn’t always the girl with all the passions. There was a time I was solely focused on my academics. I thought that was all I was. Looking back now, I see the signs were always there. I wrote books as a child (none published, but they mattered). I organized a few events and I poured myself into church work. Somehow, I still kept up with school.
So maybe, just maybe, this multi-layered life isn’t new. Maybe it’s just evolving and deepening.
This reflection is healing me in ways I didn’t expect. Writing it down, allowing the words to come as they are, feels like a balm to my soul.
I’m on my path to becoming and I’m learning to embrace it even when it’s messy (Especially when it’s messy.)
It’s not always easy. Some days are chaotic. Some days I rant but somewhere in the middle of all that noise, I find my calm, my voice, my rhythm, my peace.
That’s why I write and share.
Not for perfection. Not because I have it all figured out but because this is what becoming looks like. It’s raw. It’s real and sometimes, it’s downright confusing.
I’ve made peace with that.
This journey is mine and I’m walking it with open hands, steady faith, and a heart full of hope.
Thanks for reading. If you’re navigating your own layered life, I hope this gives you a little more permission to breathe. To be. To become.