Wake Up and Move Forward
Fear isn’t something you conquer once. It’s something you confront every single day.
There was always a locked room in my heart.
I never had the key, but I knew what lived there. It didn’t shout. It didn’t knock things over. It simply stood there — waiting — especially when I was close to something I truly wanted. A win. A stage. A new beginning.
I thought I had to take everything by force. “The kingdom suffers violence,” they said. So I pushed. I tried to be bold. But deep down, fear had already taken a seat before I even walked into the room. When it was time to represent my school in a competition, I picked the subject I felt safest in: English. Not because I loved it but because it didn’t scare me as much as the others.
For the longest time, all I heard was:
“She has potential.”
But there were no results. Or maybe there were but I couldn’t see them through the fog of self-doubt. I was stuck in this strange place where I felt invisible not because others couldn’t see me, but because I couldn’t see myself clearly. I was constantly editing who I was before I ever spoke, afraid that the real me might be “too much” or “not enough.”
I rehearsed every word before I spoke. I wanted to sound just right. Not too loud. Not too soft. Just… safe. I was quiet, but inside, I was fighting a war no one could hear. And slowly, that silence turned into a spiral.
I stopped believing I could achieve “the impossible,” because honestly? The possible already felt like a mountain. Every little step felt like I was dragging the weight of unseen expectations and past failures. Sometimes, I would lie in bed and think, “Maybe I’m just meant to be average. Maybe that’s all I’ll ever be.”
I lost hope. More than once. I watched myself shrink in my own story. Each doubt I entertained deepened the hole. And the scariest part? That doubt didn’t live outside me. It was me.
Then something changed. It wasn’t dramatic there was no trumpet blast but a sudden enlightenment. It was a quiet, terrifying realization:
This is fear. This is self-doubt. And it’s been calling the shots for too long.
That moment of clarity almost broke me yet it saved me.
I decided to push back. To say, “Enough.” To make one move, even if it was shaky. And it worked, at least for a while. I hoped that first win would be the last battle. But fear? It came back. It always does.
And when it did, it hit harder. I thought I had killed that voice once and for all but it rose again, whispering even more convincingly. That’s when I learned something crucial: fear doesn’t disappear. It evolves. It comes back dressed in different outfits — self-doubt, procrastination, perfectionism, anxiety.
Real progress started the day I accepted that this isn’t a one-time fight.
It’s daily. Hourly. Moment by moment.
And every time I choose to move forward — even if I’m afraid — I become stronger for the next round.
Fear still visits me but I’ve stopped seeing it as the enemy. Now, I take it as a cue. A signal that something valuable is on the other side. That what I want is worth the discomfort. Fear is not my weapon but it’s no longer my wall.
Even writing this scared me. I almost didn’t. But here it is — and if you’re reading it, then that fear didn’t win today.
So here’s what I’ve learned:
Wake up. Drown out fear’s voice.
Because sometimes, your own mind is the one trying to hold you back.
And when that happens…
Walk anyway.
💬 If this resonated with you, share it with someone who's trying to find their voice or hit reply/comment — I'd love to hear your story too.
"I hoped that first win would be the last battle".
This is so accurate and relatable, well done, Zara.